Medjugorje Testimony Of Gerry

A Baby Sent From Heaven.

April 1997 this is a True account of our lives before during and after our Pilgrimage to Medjugorje. Caroline's Testimony :

I am 42 years of age, when I was young, like any other girl I had dreams of what I was going to be when I grew up, most of all my dreams was to become a mother. As the years came and went, (by this time I was 28) I met, Gerry who was later to become my husband. Gerry had been married before, but in my mind it did not matter, I was in love. Gerry and I started planning for our big day, I was going to have the best wedding ever, I had waited all my life for this day, only problem was, I was not going to be married in the church, and that hurt me very much. The big day arrived. I was like any bride, full of excitement, and on a high. The came and went, everyone enjoyed themselves, and so did we.

Being married, the new Mrs. was fine, soon we were to plan for our very own family, and this was to be the start of a very sad part of our lives. After trying for a family, for what seemed like forever I was sent for tests only to be told that I was fine. I was later to fall pregnant three times, each time I lost the baby. The third time I was twenty-four weeks, I had never carried a baby as long as this, (the other two pregnancies I lost in the first few weeks) I just was so numb, words would not express how I felt. I hated my husband, I hated my life, how could God do something like this to me. What had I done to deserve this pain? Nothing or nobody could ever take away the emptiness and loneliness I felt inside. Some time after I was to go on IVF treatment (by this time we were not attending Mass as much) first of all went private for the IVF, we had to take a loan out for the treatment, as the waiting list for the NHS was three years. The private treatment was a failure. All that money wasted, the hurt and the pain was just about to start again. The months seemed to go by so slowly waiting for the NHS treatment of the IVF. When the time came I thought to myself please let it happen this time. (All I seemed to hurt about was someone else pregnant, this would make me feel so bitter inside) I started treatment, and ended the treatments three times, all three failed, more loneliness hurt and emptiness. Well I still had one more treatment left but I had to have a break from it as this was emotionally draining me. It was about this time that I was introduced to adoption.

Gerry and myself had not thought much about adoption, we had our minds set on our own family, so we decided to find out. (Little did we know, that our Lord knew our lives were already paved out his way.) After our meeting with the social worker, we were told that both of us were too old to have a baby, as there were very few babies now due to abortion, single parents, and contraceptives. What a sad world we live in. When the social worker told us we were too old (at this time we were in our late thirties) and our only option was and older child, I could not believe that I was too old, let alone that I had to. I needed time to think, my life was falling apart around me. No baby of my own, no baby to adopt, just and older child. How could God be so cruel to us? But what was about to happen would change our lives forever.

One day back in 1994 while Gerry was out working (we have a ice cream van), a customer gave him a newsletter about a place named Medjugorje, where it was said that Our Lady was appearing to six young people. Well, the only way to describe the transformation that happened to Gerry was, as he would say, like a light bulb being turned on in your head. He believed at that very moment of reading the newsletter that Our Lady was indeed appearing in Medjugorje, but for me I found it hard to accept. Gerry never stopped talking about it. Sometimes too much. I had enough on my mind trying to cope with not being able to have a family -- never mind Gerry reading books about Medjugorje, praying and always talking about Our Lady. (I was beginning to that Gerry had lost his mind) I could not stand the change in him, I just wanted a baby and I could no nothing to make this happen. "God why?" As I said, I still had one more treatment on the IVF program, one last chance. It was during this break in my treatment, that Gerry had been approached by one of his customers, and the lady asked him if he knew anyone that organized pilgrimages to Medjugorje (the lady had been before without a guide, and she felt that we would benefit more with a guide). So, the next day Gerry made a phone call which was to the turning point in our lives.

Gerry telephoned a friend he knew in England. When the person answered the phone at the other end, Gerry then discovered that he had dialed the wrong number, so Gerry made his apologies and was about to put the telephone down when the man on the other end asked Gerry why he was trying to reach this person? Gerry proceeded to tell this gentleman that he was looking for someone who organized pilgrimages to Medjugorje and told him about his own interest in Medjugorje,. This is when the gentleman interrupted Gerry's conversation to tell him that it must have been for him to telephone.  The gentleman went on to tell Gerry that when the call came that his friend had just arrived, and to Gerry's amazement, this friend took pilgrims over regularly to Medjugorje an that his friend (whose name is John) would like to speak to Gerry.

I will let Gerry take it from here.

Gerry explains:

John introduced himself to me, and explained that he had taken over many pilgrims over the years, and that I must come over with him. And again to my amazement he told me that we, (Caroline and I) would stay with him in Evanka's grandmother's house. I knew as did Caroline that Our Lady had appeared to Evanka in that house many times, and also it was from that house that the visionaries Evanka and Mirjana left to go for that walk in June of 1981 when our lady first appeared to them. Can you imagine how I felt, to stay in the house where Medjugorje all began?  Here I was telephoning for someone else, and being invited to go there! Not a penny to my name, and Caroline never did have much interest in Medjugorje, how could I convince her otherwise?  So I said to John, that I would ask Caroline. John told me to phone back as soon as possible, as there were very few places left. John had told me that if we went, it would be for a week in which the feast of the assumption would fall. I said goodbye to John, and told him that I would phone him to let him know. I came off the phone and asked Our Lady to help me when I asked Caroline as I made my way up the stairs to the bedroom where Caroline was. I told Caroline all that John had said, and with out hesitation she told me to phone John and tell him that we would go. I could not believe Caroline was telling me she would go. Her change of mind was because we were to stay in Evanka's grandmother's house of which Caroline knew all about. I wasted no time to phone John to tell him the good news. And to make matters even better, John told us that we did not have to pay until we arrived in Medjugorje. This gave us the time to organize for the pilgrimage. Our Lady was indeed leading the way.

Our Trip

We were to leave for Medjugorje on the 10th of August, 1995. The war was at its height, and our families were very worried for our safety. The funny thing was that it did not worry us. (Our Lady was taking care of everything) We met John and the group of pilgrims we would be traveling with at Gatwick airport. We were on our way. On our arrival in Medjugorje we made out way to the grandmother’s house. She made us feel so welcome and at home. She even gave up her bed for us and she, for the week we were there, would sleep on the couch. This was horrifying, and embarrassing for us as she was over eighty years old, but John told us that she had always done this for pilgrims and she were never change. (Evanka’s grandmother also had the grace of being lead by the hand of Evanka during an apparition, and touched Our Lady) How fortunate we were to stay in this house during our stay in Medjugorje.

We were to meet five of the six visionaries. This in itself was very special, as most of the time they (the visionaries), would be traveling to different parts of the world to meet and explain to people why Our Lady was appearing in Medjugorje. To have five of the visionaries here at once was indeed exceptional. Each day John would arrange for us to meet then take us to the visionaries’ houses.

Each day outside their houses, the visionaries would talk to the pilgrims about why Our Lady was appearing in Medjugorje and what she looked like. As the day went by Caroline still wondered why she had come this far. She tried her best to pray but all she wanted was to adopt a baby, not a older child.

One day after listening to Jakov, who is one of the visionaries, we made our way thorough the fields as we were listening to a young girl explain in detail what it was Jakov had been saying. (She had originally come from Croatia and was now living in Canada) so we listened to her translate part of the Jakov’s talk, which we could not understand. When she had finished talked I said to Caroline. "Why don’t you write down how you feel and ask this girl to translate it for you to give to Evanka in her own language and Evanka in turn could present our letter, with the many others, when our Lady appears to her?"

The girl was happy to write the letter for Caroline. When we arrived to Evanka’s grandmother’s house she gave the letter to the grandmother to read. After reading the letter, she came over to Caroline and gave her a loving hug, and as she spoke we knew what she was trying to tell us. It was to pray to the Gospa from the heart. She then put the letter in a safe place to give to her granddaughter.

Now, after giving her letter to the Grandmother, Caroline was filled with hope, that in the future she would be able to cope with not having a baby of her own and also coping with the adoption of an older child.

A Baby Sent From Heaven.

As I had said earlier in the testimony, Caroline found it hard adapting to Medjugorje. Although the party in which we traveled with were so nice to us to the extent that we could share the problems of our lives and theirs as if we had known each other all our lives. This sharing created a bond between us, which would last throughout our pilgrimage. But for Caroline how could I make her happy in our third day there? Caroline told me that she wanted to go sunbathing to make her happy I agreed. When we look back on it now, we must have been the only people to go into a field next to St. James Church to sunbathe. Caroline was later to ask me if I did this to please her? The grass was so long that the sun could not see us. It made her happy but Our Lady was about to help give Caroline a happiness that would last far beyond her imagination. The following day was Sunday, and I went out early to make the Stations of the Cross on Apparition Mountain before ten o’clock Mass. Caroline was organizing what we would wear that day while I was out.

Just then a knock came to the door. It was John asking Caroline if she would like to go to the ten o’clock Mass as they had the chance of a lift in a car to take them there. Caroline told John that I was on the Hill of Apparitions, John told Caroline to leave a note and that I could make my own way to the church. By the time I came back I was to late for the 10 o’clock Mass so I decided to go to a later Mass. In the meantime Caroline and John were arriving at the church. As they entered the church John met one of the nuns, who was looking after some of the orphans, as they made their way to their seats. Now because there were so many people in the church, they had to all squeeze tight together. Caroline made signs for a little orphan girl to come sit on her lap, the little girl smiled and sat with Caroline during the Mass. Caroline later recalled how one little girl would change her life forever.

On the morning of our departure, Caroline and I said our sad good-byes to Evanka’s grandmother. Over our week stay there with her, she became like our own grandmother, always kissing and cuddling us and making sure we were fine. We’ll never forget the day we left, as the coach drove away, the grandmother standing at the door. This lovely old lady who was granted the grace of touching the Mother of God on two occasions. How could we forget someone so kind and special?

We made our way to the various guesthouses to pick up the remainder of our friends and we were on our way as this little village disappeared into the distance. I thought to myself, we have witnessed a little piece of heaven on earth. On our way to the airport, we said our rosary. Caroline and I have never prayed so much in our lives. Maybe Our Lady would help answer our prayers after we collected our luggage at Gatwick airport we all said our tearful good-byes and before no time we were back home in Scotland.

The second morning home, something remarkable happened, I was a wakened suddenly by the uncontrollable sobbing from Caroline. After I calmed her down she said to me "How could I ever say that I could not adopt an older child? Children like that need so much love." It took a journey of a thousand miles to this small village and a little orphan girl to sit on my Caroline’s lap before she could realize how wrong she was by saying no to accepting an older child. She then realized just how much love an older child needs. When we both look back at our lives, before going to Medjugorje, we had let our faith slowly slip away. We were more interested in other things, how wrong we were. Quickly we started the process on adopting a child of our own. This time we put our prayer life first. By going to mass as often as possible, and also saying our rosary each night. This way we were going to let Our Lady intercede for us.

Now, because we said Yes to Our Lady, by going back to Mass and reciting the rosary both of us were to receive a wondrous blessing. I remember often hearing the saying "God can move mountains". Well, I can find no other words to describe the following months of our lives. They were simply remarkable indeed. Over the years Caroline and I would have let our faith diminish if it had not been for our experience in Medjugorje where the love and peace of the people is immense, we dread to think the paths our lives would have been without it. This little village is a part of heaven on earth.

A year or so had past since our trip to Medjugorje when we received word from the adoption society. We were to start a six week course, this was to prepare us for the adoption of a older child. From the start to the finish of the course we both knew then that this was meant for us. How could we not love these young children? We both had so much love to give them. By this time Caroline and I were attending Mass almost daily asking Our Lord to help give us the grace to cope with our intended adoption. At night we always said our rosary, not just for the adoption, but for anyone in need of prayer. When we look back now and see how far we have come, had it not been for prayer it would of not been possible.

After the course finished, we had the long wait to be assessed and then matched with a child. Now it was during this wait period in early November '96 that something remarkable happened. Caroline had received a phone call from my sister who wanted to only talk to me and wouldn’t leave a message. So when I returned home I returned the phone call. And this is what she had to say...

A friend she knew, I’ll call her friend Amy, phoned her at one thirty in the morning crying uncontrollably and when Amy was finally calmed down enough to talk she explained that she was pregnant. At first I thought way is my sister calling me just to tell me her friend is pregnant? As she explained about Amy’s past life I could feel nothing but compassion for her. This, in short, is Amy’s life

Amy is 32 years of age, and she has four children. Their ages are two, four, five and twelve. When she was in her late teens she was engaged to the first child’s father when she became pregnant. Being young, things did not work out and they parted ways. Some four years later Amy was to meet the man she was to marry. He was everything that she had dreamed of. He would take her out for meals, buy her lots of nice things, basically he would spoil her. Most importantly he seemed to love her daughter so they set the day for the wedding. The day came and went and soon they had their own house as their marriage progressed Amy noticed that her husband would spend more and more time and money at the pub and the family was receiving less money. By this time Amy had two children with her husband and her life was being to fall apart. It was then that Amy decided to leave him because by now he was also physically abusing her. She went to stay with her mother. Her husband phoned her saying he would change but Amy had listened to these promises so often before to no avail. Things were hard for Amy staying with her parents and her younger sister as well as caring for three children. Amy felt she was a failure to her mum and to her dad as well as to her children. She had to do something but what? It was then her husband phone once more promising to change and as always this time he meant it. Amy in the situation that she was in gave in and he was given one last chance. She moved back home with the children and as time went by her husband started going out on the weekends and drinking again.

It was coming up for Easter and Amy decided she would go to church for Lent. Going to church with the two youngest proved to be a handful, as I am sure any mother can attest too. She survived and was later to meet a lady with five children of her own who was later to become her best friend. As with any good friend, Amy confided all in her confidence.

Her friend was to play a major part in Amy’s prayer life. Also she was just a phone call away she would later say. "I will never know how my friend put up with all my problems". Amy’s husband was sober weekdays but weekends would always prove to be hard, this was the time she dreaded the most . As Amy became pregnant with their fourth child she thought this was bring them together but as time passed he again slipped back into his old ways

She had mentioned to her husband about Alcoholics Anonymous, but he would say, as most do, that it is her who was having the problems, not him. Her friend suggested the rosary. So Amy decided she would try. Weeks went by and she began to think -- this is not going to work... until one Friday night after she had put the children to bed and had begun reciting the rosary. As usual, her intentions were for her husband. What happened that night shocked her.

As Amy was saying the rosary she heard the front door open. She squeezed her rosary beads tighter and prayed that she would not have to endure the mental cruelty that he would put her through the weekends that he drank. Just then, the sitting room door opened and supporting a large bouquet of flowers was her husband. With no signs that he had been drinking he came over to her and promised her that he would not drink again and that he was sorry for all he had put her through over the years. Furthermore, he told her that he was willing to join AA. She wondered if he meant it this time, or was it to be one more broken promise? Only time could tell.

Her husband stayed sober and faithfully went to the AA meetings, all this was to last for a few months and in that short time he was no longer a stranger but a friend, father and husband. Sadly, this happiness came to an end and the one thing that she let lapse during this happy time was her rosary. The source of all her happiness had been neglected. It was some time later when she was to look back on her life and knew that Our Lady had been faithful to her but sadly it was Amy who had not continued with the rosary and without prayer her husband had returned to drinking. It went from bad to worst until she could take no more. There was no more love, just hurt and loneliness. She and her children would try and start a new life on their own. How hard this would be with four children and no where to live. She moved back in with her parents. After a long wait she was given a home of her own. Only problem was she had no furniture, nothing.

As time went by she managed to get the house in order as best she could. A few months later after they had separated, her husband telephoned one evening. She was expecting him to say he would be there to get the kids for the weekend, as this was the arrangement they both had agreed to. Her husband on several occasions had cancelled out on the children waiting until the last minute to notify them that he would not be coming. Sometimes he would be drunk, sometimes he didn’t have a reason. The children would not understand why and there would be crying. On this evening though he was calling to tell her he had met someone else. It was not to collect the children. Amy was devastated, all those years together, three children together, the constant mental and physical abuse she had gone through because of his drinking how could he do this to her? What had she done so wrong? Emotions filled her and she cried bitter tears.

Amy was later to find out that it was not her husband who placed the call but his girlfriend. A few days later still depressed and in an emotional frame of mind, she arranged to have a night out. By this time her prayer life was not as strong still as it had once been in the past. Like most of us she failed to see the good that prayer can bring. Arrangements were made for the children to be looked after while she went out. Not that she went out often, money was scarce. Once she was out she started to relax and enjoy herself. Friends were glad to see her enjoying herself. After a few drinks all her feelings were put on hold for the evening. As the night went on and the more relaxed she was feeling she then met and started a conversation with a fellow who was also out for the evening. During the conversation Amy shared her story with him and he was kind to listen. They spent the rest of the evening talking and enjoying each other’s company. She had not been so happy in such a long while. Actually she had not felt that care for in such a long time when it was time to go home she invited him home. He ended up spending the night and disappearing the next morning never to be heard from again. It was some time later that she found out she was pregnant This is when she called my sister. Depressed and in such a state of mind she thought of even taking her own life. She didn’t know what to do or who to call. It was earlier that same day that the doctor confirmed that she was indeed pregnant and expressed only one option to her and that was abortion. He told her to come back the next Tuesday and have the procedure. After leaving the doctors she went home sat down and cried. She started to think to herself:  I am catholic, how can I consider having an abortion?

I am the very person who would be first to criticize anyone else in this position, yet here I am contemplating it. "What can I do? Please help me", she told my sister. My sister could do say or do nothing to calm her. After some time they ended the conversation. As Amy put the phone down she decided she would ask the only person she knew could help. "Our Lady". She took out her rosary beads and started to pray for help. The following day Amy describes the course of events that would answer her prayers.

After she saw her three children off to school and to nursery her and her youngest did some messages. Afterwards for some reason and to this day she can not explain it she stopped by my sister’s house. When Amy arrived, my sister was surprised to see her. She did not know what to say to her regarding their conversation on the telephone earlier that morning. How could she help change her mind regarding abortion?

For some reason my sister brought out two pictures. One of the pictures was a scan of my sister’s baby. And the other was a picture of our Lord with one hand on His forehead and the other hand cradling an aborted child. This shocked Amy. My sister said to her, "Have you considered having the baby placed up for adoption?" This had not even crossed Amy’s mind, as she was still confused, she asked my sister about adoption. This was when my sister suggested that she get in contact with me since Caroline and I had been working with adoptions of our own and might have useful information. It was in the conversation with my sister I agreed to meet with Amy that night once I would return home from work. Amy was to meet us at our home.

When we arrived home from work, both my sister and Amy were waiting on us. Caroline made coffee and we talked. Now up until this point Amy had no idea that we could not have children of our own. However she know that we were in the process of adopting a child. During the conversation Caroline explained to her that we were too old to adopt a baby. And there were many young couples that would love to adopt a baby, as there are not that many babies out there, and told her why. What Amy said next took us by surprise. Amy asked if we would adopt her baby. Both Caroline and I knew what she had been with so much she must be in shock we thought.

Caroline explained again that we were too old to adopt a baby. But Amy said she wanted who her baby would be going and us to adopt her child because then she would know to where. That if what were to happen that she gave her baby up she wanted to know what kind of life the child would have. Eventually after a few hours of talking we agreed to adopt her baby. We were overjoyed. After all this pain and struggling over the years the only thing that came through for us was our prayers.

If it is God’s will, Caroline and I will have a newborn baby of our own on the 28th of July, 1997. We are also still pursuing the adoption of an older child through the Catholic Adoption Society. And finally Caroline, Amy and myself thank God for finding a way out of an impossible situation that had no way out. Caroline and I know how much love that Amy has for all her children. Her love for them especially now is immeasurable to the extent that she made the ultimate sacrifice of love. To give a child she is expecting a chance of life and love, that she would have given that child had the circumstances been different. May God bless her and her children all of their lives.

On July 14th, 1997 Caroline and I were given the most precious gift of a new born baby son, Calvin Sean. Words can not express our joy and happiness that we felt the moment we entered the labor room. Amy turned to Caroline and with the baby in her arms, she held the baby out to Caroline and said the most beautiful words that will stay engraved in our minds forever. She said, "Caroline, if I was to search the world over I could not find a better mother for the baby then you". As Caroline held the baby in her arms her eyes filled with tears. She kissed him and she cried and cried and for the first time in many years the tears were of an overwhelming joy not sorrow. A love filled day, we all cried, the midwives and the family present, for this was the day our prayer was answered. This was the day a baby was sent from heaven. On that day our lives felt so complete. As for our last chance on the IVF program treatment we gave that up when we both made the decision to adopt an older child. Because of this most important decision not to go through with the I.V.F. treatment and place our trust in God. He in his goodness and love like a father, wiped away all the tears of the past, and took care of everything.

As for Amy, she can now rebuild her life knowing that she gave the baby a chance of life. She will always know how much love Calvin will have all of his life. This testimony is for all to read, especially women who are on I.V.F. programs or similar programs that feel they could not accept a older child through adoption. You, like my wife, will identify with all that you have read regarding the pain and the hurt you feel. Trust in what you have read and let prayer and trust in God take care of everything. You will never be let down. Have total faith in your prayers and you will have a peace and a happiness that you can never imagine.

On the 15th August 2000, exactly 5 years to the day of our own pilgrimage to medjugorje, my wife and I were married in full communion in to the catholic church.

Also, the letter that Caroline had translated to give to Evanka has also proved to continue in providing us with a wonderful little girl called Demi Donna Marie whom we are caring for at the moment( October, 2006) with the possibility of adoption.

The strange thing is, Caroline wrote the letter to be translated on the day before the feast of the Assumption, the 13^th of August.

It turns out that this is Demi’s Birthday, what a wonderful gift after all these years.

So never give up hope, because your prayer will be answered.    

God Bless

Gerry , Caroline, Calvin Sean and Demi Donna Marie.